Things that really bug me!

This morning while making my bed I thought I saw a spider which turned out to be a metal part to my eyeglass case, but it reminded me of brushes with pure evil.

Directly after I graduated college in 1990 my boyfriend and I drove cross country from Maine to Seattle to "see America" and try life out on the west coast. (He's still out there, I left six months after we arrived.) My wholesome Mainer boy quickly went from 80s preppy to grunge while I had traded my straight edge punk rock roots for becoming a granola girl. Throughout both of those "stages" I always embraced eating and living as naturally as possible and had worked at health food shops and co-ops while still in school.

So when, one day alone in the cute cottage hovel we were renting I saw a gigantic spider the size of a rat, I had an instant personal transformation. Besides screaming like a little hippie girl faced with something akin to war, in a blind rage I drove to the supermarket and stocked up on non-non-toxic Raid. When I came back I nearly busted the door open like an actual raid and went gangbusters spraying. 

In retrospect I may have had some PMS issues at play, but I knew right then that town or time zone wasn't for me similar to when my husband was stationed in the south and I discovered flying cockroaches and had to rule out that part of the country, too. I'll take 10 months of winter in place of those two any day! Plus, the cold kills more bugs!

One night in Louisville, KY after leaving an event where my husband and the other Marine recruiters were manning a booth I had treated myself to a giant roasted turkey leg to enjoy when I got back to our apartment. For those who don't know me, I am a neat-nick, so cleanliness isn't an issue and can't explain what happened next. I was sitting on the couch when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a huge black thing on the wall. Petrified I slowly turned to see it raise its wings. And it flew. I freaked!

My husband wasn't due home for another few hours. I called the maintenance after-hours emergency number and convinced the guy to come over and take care of it. I was never the same after that.

Fast forward to six years ago when my husband and I were renting a house out in the Maine sticks. I was doing my laundry in the basement and saw a spider semi-reminiscent of the Seattle variety (not as large but it had hair on it) as I had started to walk downstairs. 

I have grown over the years and learned to address these events with calm maturity. I went back upstairs, picked up a wooden baseball bat (totally organic pest control) and proceeded to stomp back downstairs cursing at the spider like the New Yorker I still am. "Don't you F with me, B! I'll get you!" Of course I'm totally laughing at myself and had no intentions of swinging the bat unless it tried to jump me (and spiders do jump!). 

It was fun and games until I realized that my landlord was doing yard work right outside the windows and likely heard everything.

Anyway, just some random spider and bug stories I wanted to share!

Comments

  1. "totally organic pest control"!!! This is an instant classic, Averyl. I just had to kill a large fly in my daughter's bedroom. It's only been in the low 40's and the flies are back! I'm ok with most spiders but flies gross me out to the point of craziness like you described.

    Sarah

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    1. ha. : )

      I also hate flies! In Maine they are super slow unlike the NYC flies so they are easier to annihilate.

      I do love dragonflies, though. : )

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    2. So even the flies in NYC are at a faster pace! Ha ha. :)

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  2. I hate spiders, and they proliferate in Southern California summers. I'm very cautious when looking into a bag that's sat in a corner for a week too long. My husband is panicky about anything that hops - bad memories from working at a petshop wrangling crickets for people's pet snakes. So, I understand how you feel. I once sat in 98 degree heat for over an hour (when I was a teen) - waiting for my father to come home and kill the giant spider that had created a colossal web across the front porch. He chuckled when he saw my sunburned forehead - then took out his propane torch and poof - spider gone. LOL!

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    1. What a great idea! Good job, Dad! ha

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  3. Oh, Averyl, I love this post!! Not because of the bug grossness but it's fun to learn these little personal things about you. I almost laughed out loud here at the office. I live in Texas and I tell you what, we have the most awesome bugs here! And by awesome I mean disgusting and scary. We have the flying cockroaches, generally called waterbugs or palmetto bugs. Also the regular huge a** roaches that don't fly. Scorpions, too. And locusts which really aren't locusts but people sometimes call them that. They are cicadas. The big, ugly loudly humming bug creatures in the summer. You usually don't see them unless they're dead on the ground because they live in the trees. But oh, hearing that humming means summer in Texas for me! I love it, it's soothing. Unless you are standing right under a tree where they are humming and then it can be deafening. :)

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    1. That's sweet of you, Aileen!

      As for the bugs. OMG. I would have to get some kind of impenetrable space suit if I lived there. ha.

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