On silence, quiet and self-care

The italicized excerpt below originally appeared in my July 2016 post, Hashtags aren't conversations; memes aren't activism. It's still true for me today and why I avoid politics on social media as best as I'm able. Silence on social media does not equate silence!

I took that pic yesterday while driving back from a walk. A man dressed as a monk carrying a large wooden cross on his back was walking along the road. What was that all about? Clearly he has a literal "cross to bear." But all of us do. Many many crosses. Racism may affect you personally. Maybe you are a cop or your have a family member who is. Perhaps you are struggling with an addiction, active or recovering from it one day at a time, depression, anxiety, or serious mental illness. Anti-Semitic sentiments are still alive and I shudder at some of the things I've read online. Locally a swastika was spray painted on someone's driveway. Domestic violence, childhood sexual abuse (of which I am a victim), environmental disasters, genocide, the list goes on!

Imagine the man above trying to literally juggle multiple giant crosses in the air. He wouldn't be able to keep up. No one can. He'd collapse under the weight. 

Being enraged all the time and posting about it isn't a workable solution. Being "quiet" and taking time to recharge and be effective with the things you can change seems to be the way to go!

I can't control what people think about me, my "silence" or the things I have communicated. A cross I will no longer bear, however, is the idea that I have to parade these crosses on social media to prove that I know they exist and am struggling with the solutions, too.

No matter what is happening in the world or in your life, self-care, in my opinion, must come first. That is not meant in a narcissistic sense as some may twist it that way. 

Eating healthy foods, nourishing the mind, body and soul, being kind to people and pets, being active in the community, exploring and enjoying wholesome outdoor pursuits, learning about the past, the relaxing nature of cooking at home, overcoming obstacles while managing others for a lifetime: those are some of the things I love to share on social media. I believe they can make people feel good. Sharing my strength and hope is what keeps me feeling optimistic, especially when I know it is helping someone else.

On tap for today: guided meditation with the help of Alan Watts and recreating my grandmother's blintzes.


  1. Very well-said!
    Kathy Browne

  2. A wonderful message and reminder, Averyl. Thank you for sharing it, and best wishes in your self-care endeavors. Personally, I've turned off the 'talking heads', resumed taking bubble baths, practicing my ukulele, and calling (not texting or emailing!) friends. And I'm passing along the words on Norman Lear's bumper sticker: "I'm just another version of you."
    Group hug,

    1. Thank you, Lois. That sounds like a lovely approach to life in 2016. Speaking of Norman Lear I was thinking that I need to watch All in the Family reruns. It's one of those shows that stays relevant.

  3. Absolutely! Also, watch the PBS American Masters feature on Norman Lear. That's how I learned about his bumper sticker and philosophy. He's still very much alive and an amazing person. I think it's showing again on the 22nd.

  4. Just checked...it's rebroadcast on the 20th. :)


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